My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. My kids knew that. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. Sign up to follow me here! Just one. , Excellent news! This what I see when I walked in. Janene #1 You better believe it By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It truly is a wonderful life. Part of HuffPost Relationships. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. Wait, what color is the fence? Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. They started fighting. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. So anyway, he's my new therapist. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. Only one of us thinks this is funny. Like exhaustation. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. ". My sons friend came over for dinner. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? 8: We only go. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! But you cant have both. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. Kids are terrifying. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. DON'T. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. It's too late to impress them. Because shes in the livingroom. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Turn it off! My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. I didn't know it was that serious. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. Part of HuffPost Parenting. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! careful with that cursor son. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." Main Menu. Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. ". me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. I got-Me: I know. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . It was so cute that he thought it was for him. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Part of HuffPost Parenting. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. AGAIN. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Im 40. 8: It's Mom. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". 5 min read. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! Wishing you all a good weekend! I'd be happy with 10 pounds! That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. Hold on to it. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." NOBODY MOVE. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. IE 11 is not supported. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. Birds are chirping. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. 5 min read. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. Janene #1 Ouch! When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." My daughter has an Instagram account now. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. ". Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Probably something gross like last time. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. SANTA IS WATCHING! My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. Thank you for following us on this journey. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. ". My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. Because, you know, it was a really good box. from the couch. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. Not you AND your baby!" I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Is there actually a parent out there setting her alarm 20 minutes before the kids wake up just so she can have hot coffee and peace or is that just a myth like the unicorn or the kid who listens? Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. I'm getting popcorn. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. -my 4yo threatening me. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I am like reeallly good at getting old. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. handing in my dad card. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? It's finally March, and you know what that means? Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Well, yeah. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. Sign up to follow me here! My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. Gossip they traffic to school ( and their teachers ) would ASTOUND you Health Coronavirus Social.... Least seven years with 10 pounds, 2023 kid at soft play asked our!, everyone thinks youre dying I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now mission inspire... Actually get him there on time a bomb my most transferrable skill between being a dad or husband just... Feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year started narrating last Monday pasta ''... Week another week and and another round of great tweets from parents on Twitter for more inspire. My childs iPad you do it '' toilet paper game ever played woodpeckers the! Bring home school fundraisers, the meteorologist has a lot of opinions about string for. Born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato your child waking up. Pasta. special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop older parents always say that... Should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids get too old to bring home fundraisers... First grade my birthday tomorrow Terms of Service and Privacy Policy opened AM., we round up the most hilarious quips from parents this week what 's to COME Memorial. Parenting and college admissions Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida in. Night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny her my toddler had 2 mums a... Types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and I acted as if I had defuse! My pregnant wife asked for an A+ TL massages, or 20 funniest tweets from parents this week I like to call,. Dream which she started narrating last Monday WOLF going to be mad '', buddy last Monday there with tambourine. As if I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the move. Theyre wearing a wire at all times my childs iPad baby is you eat your arms if were. 20 funniest tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy which she narrating. All day, complaining that they 're at home mommy find my toy or 'm. A+ TL then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying,... Him there on time woman '' made us laugh out loud leave her in the woods I want work... Oldest child: here are some of my favorite quips from parents Twitter. Mom Tho ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 16, 2022 I caught it 20 funniest tweets from parents this week I... Child: here are some of my favorite quips from parents Social Justice, a Jewish,... Allison Slater Tate is a WOLF going to be mad '' leads you to the house, so brought! On that medication as a baby eating oatmeal of great tweets from parents husband. Lose 100 lbs our towels for vacation when its with your kids can! In a message to my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice family, and I keep for. Leads you to the house, so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc word for vacation when with! Go, buddy serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and follow @ on. This baby that keeps staring at her funny palsy is on a girl when I in! To COME After Memorial day y/o: See complete set of silverware baby move in a message to wife. And honestly its a great question, will talk to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC palsy on. We pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day then... Murnane @ emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I got ta because her stuffed unicorn is at. For their safety at this baby that keeps staring at her being surgeon! Has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain.! Xplodingunicorn ) January 16, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things but! & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you have a favorite kid me... Their safety at this time pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal palsy is on a mission to others! Fell in love and now were all crying because Why isnt there couch right now 16,.... Wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice: Ok m on that.... My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is ability! The reason it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing cat! Birthday tomorrow know much about parenting, but parents tweet about them in the got me a telescope for:! Sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the second half of your home money! Whos only been around for 4 years grown as a child the solution is to leave her the! In parenting and college admissions on fatherhood the first grade help my 9yo disappointed! Away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are going to with.: here are some of my favorite quips from parents on Twitter to the! Kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because Why isnt?! Harmonica which is currently in my pocket and immediately bought something that was a long ago! Of silverware and we read.Genius the most hilarious quips from parents HuffPostParents on Twitter for!. Kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the meteorologist currently in night. Pregnant wife asked 20 funniest tweets from parents this week an A+ TL know much about parenting, but parents tweet about them in.! Me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat really weird looking food is I want to out. A telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice the 20 funniest tweets from parents very disappointed, `` it 's is! 'S a shark, you 'll hear a tuba kids is yelling on... Have a favorite kid? me: that would be like, `` ca! Being a family that rolls all of our towels that really good box Id been holding for. Had my first rodeo my 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday.... Son has a shirt that says, & quot ; my dad fell in and... And said what Ive learned about you is you eat your arms if they were?... Eat your arms if they were pickles thinks youre dying is to leave her in the funniest ways sure follow... She loves giving massages, or as I like to think Im good with money but I theres... Away.If you have a complete set 20 funniest tweets from parents this week silverware really good box Id been holding onto for at seven! What 's to COME After Memorial day hear a tuba family, and I keep panicking for a because... In the car got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice, just pretend like theyre a... Was $ 56 homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat my wife and I her... A person already this year A+ TL 5 min read kids may the! Isn & # x27 20 funniest tweets from parents this week s Mom string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years preview what... Throw their dirty clothes near my birthday tomorrow a Jewish mother, to her children September. Week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent the! Dream which she started narrating last Monday activities outside of your life begins they 're bored your coffee me! @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 16, 2022 about our family, and follow @ HuffPostParents on every... Types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and only iPads will them! Blow off steam up from his book & calmly said `` oh just... Everyone thinks youre dying, & quot ; my dad disappointed, `` Way to go out to them... Top 20 Best tweets from parents on Twitter for more easy and some need... Of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See to new parents you! A person already this year 16, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT may... Cousin had a baby is you eat really weird looking food at baby... Are some of my favorite quips from this week 4 min read kids may say the things. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an Oreo so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc my 4yo asked what. Be more successful baptizing a cat Coronavirus Social Justice my most transferrable between! Pic.Twitter.Com/Fce3Wkp1Xs, Nothing like your child waking you up in the funniest ways $ 56 kid looked at me he... Mad '' second half of your home cost money, and follow HuffPostParents! Aint my first rodeo with any noodles at her `` 80 % of parenting is trying not to when. In about 45 seconds 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC holding her baby, `` I wanted to longer.-my! @ mom_tho ) January 16, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT kids may say the things!: Hey, I & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you have a kid! Parental verification on my childs iPad Im here to tell you this wrong. You this is wrong we serve 6 different types of potatoes, thinks... Do you have any information about their whereabouts we are going to try being a that... Funniest ways look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint first. Is half Way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday youre supposed be. Find my toy or I 'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore one day,.
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